It's time to take control. It's time to stand or fall by my own artistic decisions.
Brave or what? Probably more foolhardy than brave. I've always said that there are no such things as heroes, only fools with a big spear and an overly developed need to be slapped on the back to the resounding cheers of 'for he's a jolly good fellow'.
But it looks like I am about to grab my metaphorical spear and take the path less trodden. Let's hope I get out the other end to thunderous applause and many slaps on the back. You can dispense with the 'Jolly good fellow' bit as I embarrass far too easily.
So what is it I'm about to do? Well I will tell you, but only because you asked so nicely. I am going to build my own greeting card empire. Waits for thunderous applause...I can't hear you. What you want more details? Sigh, okay here we go.
Okay, maybe 'Empire' is too grand a word. It'll be more like a small country in the middle of the ocean that doesn't want to bring too much unwarranted attention to itself, but yet still sells quality greeting cards to those who want them. Yes I know 'Empire' sounds snappier and 'small country in the middle of the ocean that doesn't want to bring too much unwarranted attention to itself, but yet still sells quality greeting cards to those who want them' is a little on the wordy side, but you get my meaning; I don't think I'll ever be Hallmark, but if you want a bit of silliness on a card, then come to me. I got it all baby!
Through a lot of market research I have discovered that the humorous card is now the biggest seller in shops amongst its contemporaries. I've also found out that your local newsagent, garden centre, fuel station and mini mart do a roaring trade in last minute cards. But during the same research I also discovered that where-as people are happy to purchase said cards from such locations, humerous ones are pretty thin on the ground. Not that this is the fault of the shop owners ---oh no, not these stout, hardy little stalwarts of their local community---no, it would appear that they simply don't get offered much in the way of rib-tickling material.
Did I suddenly see a large gap in the market, opening up like a gaping yawn that needs plugging? Too damned right I did, so I grabbed my best derring-do lance, hopped aboard my trusty steed and rode off into the sunset to make good this wrong.
Imagine my embarrassment when I got about two miles into the sunset, the thunderous applause still ringing in my ears, but was forced to come back because in all my haste at grabbing lances and selecting sturdy steeds, I'd completely forgot to pack the cards, and had to return to a lot of silence and embarrassed coughing.
But now I have them. I've swapped the trusty steed for a car---because it has more room and doesn't keep stopping to eat the grass on the verges---and I will be coming to a shop near you. Well maybe not all of you, and maybe not in the next week. But as this grows, I hope to be able to get them into a shop very close to you all and jolly well very soon.
I'm also looking to put a shop on here to handle just such sales; I will keep you updated with that as and when it happens. That 'as and when' bit refers to the point slightly after I find the idiots guide to opening an online card shop that also sells other things not necessarily card related, but definitely cartoony.
Strangely enough, Amazon are having trouble locating the book based on my search description.
But while I wait, here's a few examples of what I'm putting out there. Enjoy. And if you do enjoy, then please subscribe to my silliness below and get this and more garbage hurled into your email box from now until the end of time.
Now isn't that a tempting thought.