I'm in Belgium now. Sorry about that Belgium.
Anyway, the Kalashnikov Kid was fast asleep next to me while I was driving, making little whimpering sounds in her sleep while her little leg kicked out. I think she was dreaming about her glorious Red army days when she and her comrades stormed decadent gin palaces, sending dissidents and poets off to the Siberian Gulags.
Anyway while she slept I noticed this huge hanging sign above the motorway which was saying, in sparkling lights: Ring Brussels 8min.
So I did.
And no one answered.
I was working on this knotty little conundrum when I realised the word 'ring' was referring to a Ring road and the 8mins was obviously how long it would take you to get there.
Now lets move onto the second point: why didn't Brussels answer the phone? At the very least if could've left the answer phone on saying
"I'm sorry but Brussels isn't in at the moment, but your call is very important to us so please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as we can..."
I hope they call me before 31 October because after that I wont be in. Apparently I will very definitely be out.
Oh and on a final point: 8mins to the ring road. How do they calculate that? Yes, if I, or any normal, sane person was driving it probably would be 8mins, but if the Kalashnikov Kid was at the helm she'd have arrived a full 7mins early and caught Brussels with its pants down and with an expression not unlike that you'd have if a Lion popped its head around the corner.
Okay. Onto Germany.